An Open Letter to Trey Parker and Matt Stone Regarding Casa Bonita
Casa Bonita has been a Colorado eatertainment destination since 1974. The Lakewood location has been closed since March 0f 2020 and has since filed for bankruptcy, putting the future of the iconic attraction in doubt. It has just been announced that Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park and huge fans of Casa Bonita, have reached an agreement to purchase the establishment, presumably so that they both can jump off of its legendary waterfall.
August 16, 2021
Dear Trey and Matt,
Casa Bonita has sucked for a very long time.
Since 1974, the Colorado landmark has left an imprint on our hearts, and, most likely, our intestines.
The fond memories we all share of the beloved historical icon – the scent of a third-world zoo mixed with the exuberance of purchasing a Fanky Malloon – those memories are layered in acceptance of the fact that, despite our love for it, Casa Bonita really sucks.
The lines are long, the “service” is sub-par, and the food… well, let’s just say one reviewer claimed they would “rather get the electric chair” than eat there again, and rumors of dog food containers found in the dumpster have never quite been disproven.
In fact, despite being a Colorado landmark for almost 50 years, Casa Bonita has never held more than a 3-star average on any review platform. Looking through the reviews, it’s actually amazing that it’s even held on to those mediocre marks.
But now, with the exciting news of the Lakewood eatertainment mecca’s new ownership, we can’t help but wonder, could it possibly suck just a little less?
Make no mistake, Casa Bonita’s suckiness is, without a doubt, a massive part of its allure. Otherwise, it would be a fairly unremarkable tourist attraction and birthday destination, blending into the Chuck E Cheeses and Rainforest Cafes of the world.
No, Casa Bonita needs to suck, and it should continue to suck.
But can’t Casa Bonita still suck overall, even if some parts of it are considered great?
Like BASEketball?
Take Black Bart’s Cave, for example.
Black Bart’s Cave can still be just as dark and mysterious, but does it need to be so… sticky?
The famed cliff jumpers can still perform their classic routine, but maybe the performers working the Tuesday lunch shift don’t terrifyingly attempt the same level of difficulty as the Saturday night team.
The Gorilla is a fixture at Casa Bonita that no one wants to lose. But does the beloved ape need to be so, well… also sticky?
The mariachi singers should still travel from table to table, delighting guests with their authentic serenades. But tipping them shouldn’t ensure they will harass you for the remainder of the visit.
The decor should never change. The tackiness of the authentic Mexican village vibe is essential to Casa Bonita’s charm. But maybe the paint could have just slightly less lead in it?
The arcade is one of the biggest draws to Casa Bonita, and we’d hate to see much change about its classic nature. But would it be too much to ask that most of the games actually work?
And perhaps the margaritas can taste like, well, margaritas.
And the food…
The food can still come from a mysterious window on an old plastic tray, but does it need to be done in such a violently dystopian sort of way?
And maybe, just maybe, the food on that tray doesn’t have to suck at all.
In fact, maybe that food can actually, dare we dream, be… good?
What if that food was even… great?
Would that be so bad?
A family could still watch the creepy puppet show together, spend a fortune on skeeball, enjoy an amazing show, and not go home sick. In fact, they may even enjoy their meal.
And maybe, just maybe, that meal comes from a trusted Colorado purveyor of tacos. One that has a loyal following, knows how to make damn good food while having a damn good time, and appreciates a little vintage kitsch.
Maybe, instead of cafeteria slop that looks like it was prepared by toxic cannibals in a post-apocalyptic junkyard, the food is fresh, flavorful, and unique. Maybe it’s prepared by a team that takes pride in its “Colorado” style tacos. Because, as much as Casa Bonita attempts to embrace the vibe of a Mexican village, there is no mistaking that Casa Bonita is a Coloradan treasure.
A treasure that is worth improving, just a little bit.
Would that suck? Or would that be worth raising a miniature flag over?
Like Butters rebuilding civilization with his wiener, let’s rebuild Casa Bonita together, and make it suck, just a tiny bit less.
Bring in McDevitt Taco Supply as a food and beverage partner at Casa Bonita, and make one positive change to ensure its legacy.
But don’t you DARE change the sopapillas.
Sincerely,
McDevitt Taco Supply
P.S. ~ You can contact us at tacos@mcdevitttacosupply.com when you’re ready to talk details. In the meantime, learn more about us via our branding deck.
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